The futile attempt to deny your most probable future

Chapter 2: Life can be a shock, a pain and a burdenalterada 1

Do you know the feeling of knowing your most probable future? It feels like you lived with too much observation from your own, and now you know the patterns of your life. You know that no matter how your irrational mind try to delusionally fantasize about a great, so wished future, the chances of this future actually come true are very dim (and ever shortening due to the time pass).

It’s like that to me, an irrational part of myself, always come up during my day with thoughts of me and “probable” partners, wish is absoluty, ultra, super, mega fake, and would be stupid of my part, and such a waste of time to even given a grasp of hope to these thoughts, that leads to nothing but more suffering, frustation and shame.

But inside of me there is another part that always fights back with brutal doses of reality, not letting myself ever being fooled by the idiotic hopeful self, though this an enemy i can’t kill for all eternity. But i will tell you the true, the good things that happens to catch my thoughts during the day, those would be really great to have, yet, unhappily, those never happen…

Yo solo no tengo una respuesta, pero la vida es una bosta…


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