It has been a rollercoaster of fuck ups and fuck downs, i don’t know what she is up to here, and i feel like something is lacking… So i just switch my focus back to money, health, education and things like this, tangible things in where you can achieve sucess, and just keep going.
That was my note, about a week ago, when i was supposed to write about this topic. Now, about a week later, i can make an update of the update.
EDIT: For those of you who want the full story, see it in this POST
read the parts written: The woman i am getting to know and The feelings we feel when we enter a relationship
How things have been?
Things have been kind of great, until i decided to put the relation to the test, after all, what is it worth to invest in something fake? I stopped talking with her for somedays, i will keep it up, to see if she is ever going to send a hello again at least, which might mean two things:
1) She likes me enough to miss me
2) She is just trying to keep me within reach to have the control
Anyway, during the time i was talking with her, i made some really courageous shots, that i never did in my life, i simply thought and said to myself: “Ok, you will never know if you don’t try, and if it works…” and so i did, one thing after another, which might have been a fuck up, maybe great, or maybe neutral (i don’t belive anything is neutral when it comes to this, just ignorable).
How do i feel, and what i expect for the future?
I feel kind of bad, lonely, but i’m still focused (on my goals), as always i try to be. I’m ok though, and will survive…
I really expect somehow we make this work out, and i can find the hapiness and peace i have been looking for on this, but i know life is a hazy mystery, who knows what i’m going to achieve with this, maybe this is the end (i hope not, but if it is, i can’t help).
Well folks, if i can give an advice, it would be, you only learn some things when you try them!