Life plays the deception joke once again

Everything going down once again.

I need to get out from this mess, but how? Everytime i fail at these things, i can only return my focus on what i can achieve by myself, money, health, knowledge, but yeah, it feels empety, dry, and i don’t feel very encouraged to go back to this, but if it is all i have, and maybe, all i can achieve, then i should definitely embrace this!

So, as we are getting close to the end of the month, how things have been going?
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In general, life is the same rollercoaster, it plays tricks all along, and i can not understand it, i look into the sun, i look to the empty wall and ask myself if life is really this dry, bleak desert, where only pain grows on its sands.

Financial

I didn’t changed anything financially, i’m really poor to a global level right now, maybe not so much on my country, but inflation and taxes has been destroying our economy, and i have 4x less than a dollar, with a simple buck from my country.

That’s why, i announce, not so happy, that my savings are: $1.500 in dollars
Right now…

And i have been saving for one year already, economizing up to 90% of my wage all months, i don’t use my money for anything else than emergencies, and that emergency never ultrapass this 90% month mark, almost all this time i have been saving 100%. Well fuck it if i am poor, it doesn’t mean i will be forever poor.

Relationship

This column could very well talk about others social aspects of life, but do i care? No, not at all, at least for now, i’m very happy i have one good friend, and that is all i need, what i need now is a woman, but that i don’t have, so this column is dedicated to this cause only. What can i say?

I have been investing on this woman, trying to have some love in return, but i don’t know if i will make it, i have spot so many flaws in my way, but i don’t wanna fake something i am not, is either myself, or i don’t care if it doesn’t work (actually i do, but only on the pain side, because i know that i’m doing what is right!).

I don’t want to invest on anyone else right now, and i don’t know what i will do if i fail on this one, I will just keep surviving for sure, and well, what is life if not a big survival show? Where is the life?

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Study

Until now i have been doing ok at university, while on spanish classes i could do much better if i studied, but i don’t care so much, what i really have to study really hard is for public concourse, That is the best output of money i can have here in my country at some level. So focus on it (not that i have been doing it, kind of out of time)

General

I want to change job, gain better, i don’t own anything, i don’t have a car, a house, an appartment, neither a motorcycle. Fuck it, but when i feel like buying something like this i just think to myself: There is no way i would be happy buying a popular class car, i want more, i want the best for me, i prefer to walk 20 miles, than spend my money on a popular car, but when we talk about good cars this story change. But for that, i need money on a stable fashion.

Well, i guess that is all

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