AS ALWAYS, KEEP THE CHAIN OF THIS STORY IN TRACK, HERE
After trying so hard, i think all will go down throughout the sink, but that remains to be seen, who will win, the dark warrior or the light warrior, until now the odds has always been in the side of the dark warrior, and i feel it’s the most probable too, and feels sad.
I will tell write more soon…
Update: i am tired of this shit, when she talks with me i will just tell her i don’t want to be friends with her, and quite it.
Well, i don’t know if i will ever engage to this level again with somebody else, because i don’t think it’s worth, and fuck it, i’m not one of those lucky guys who made it. I don’t wanna redo all this shit, blablabla, not worth it, being cold and distant from this stuff is better, i will put all my efforts to avoid delusional thoughts.
I started to have a painful life really young, at 11 i lost my mother. Since then, i have lonely wandered, and increasing my pains. Though, because i have passed the phase of wanting to suicide (when i was a teen), and have hope to JUST WATCH, the future of humanity, immortality, space colonization, new technologies (which might be all not worth it, or maybe it is, and it is just my cognitive dissonance), i will simply keep the survival, hahaha.
But well, i learned to be a faster recomposer, i’m already on the previous investiment mood, just hanging around this crazy universe that makes no sense, waiting for the thermic death, until everything is gone, just so it might be reanimated again, and hell begins all over again, or not (who knows?).
Over dramatic? Probable yes, but does it matter? Well, i’m not blamming anyone, not cursing anyone, it’s nobody fault that life is like this to so many of us. We can’t make it other way, we have to endure its beatings on us. I don’t curse her, she is not obliged, i don’t expect anything from anyone, of any kind or any gender, life is the way it is.
What will i do? I will wander, maybe move to Mars when i can (which maybe could be a really bad ideia, and i will explain this on a post). Continue to try to improve, etc… such is life man, hard to say why the ways it works is like this, but it is.
Maybe we live in a dark age, which means there has been, or shall be a light one, but it doesn’t matter.
Maybe men should really go to virtual worlds and forget everything about true humans, i know it might feel sad, but life is already sad by itself.
Actual status: This warrior is already dead, commited suicide. Actually started being sexual, fuck! I don’t know if this sexual crap will help, but who knows, got to try this shit, i was supposed to finish everything though, lol, i hope at least, that if it doesn’t work, i don’t find myself clinging to it so muchhhhhhhh, and finish the hell at its begin. Lol though, really, how the hell did i ended up doing this other action?